Is value today what it used to be? Value is different to everyone but value today is much different today then it used to be. Today people care about designer bags, brand clothes, and how much everything is worth. People used to only care about what they had and not how much it was or where they got it. It was the fact that they had it that meant so much to them. I try to remember that and value things for what I think of them not what anyone else thinks.
Beep, beep, beep, my alarm obnoxiously sounds. I lay there thinking of how much I can’t wait to see everyone when my dad yells at me to get up and rips the covers off my bed. I get up casually and get on the most prized piece of clothing I own, my Western Mass lacrosse uniform with my last name embroidered in blue on my shorts and a vibrant 14 on my chest. I run to the car to stop my parents from honking and I get in anxiously. We quickly pick up Kara and we are on or way. The adventure awaits us.
Swoosh! The ball rushes out of my stick and into the back of the net. Woohhh!! The crowed cheers and we rush back to get into our positions. All we hear is the echo of our cleats into the bleachers and the occasional outburst of one boisterous voice from the stands. We chase the ball down the field, hitting everyone’s pocket with a great impact until I see her wind up and fire the ball into the top right corner of the net. The whistle blows and the game is over. We get a roaring applause from our parents as we jog over to our coaches.
Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! The whistle blows as we score again and again. We are unstoppable. There are a couple close calls but we get through them all as a team and we play like we have been together our whole lives. We celebrate our victories for the final time. We all wish this would last forever. We slowly get into our cars and drive away from the place where we had so many memories and moments we will never forget.
I have been playing lacrosse since third grade and there is no other sport in the world that I would want to play more. Gorgeous is the only word I have to describe it, as I see my harrow lacrosse stick shinning across the room. Without it there would be no possible way for me to play. I bought my blue shaft and white head in 5th grade at a lacrosse jamboree. It was quite expensive but in the end it was worth it. I keep it in a special bag that is made to fight it perfectly. It sits in the closet, waiting for my grab. I keep it safe so no one can steal it and in the same exact spot so I can grab it quickly when I am ready to go. Lacrosse is a very important part of my life.
I put the curved pieces around my ears and press play. BOOM! My song abruptly starts and I start singing along. Sadly it stops and I scroll down the list of songs and pick another favorite to play. I look at the silver front the the aluminum back, so perfect that I can see my reflection in it. I listen for hours and hear mostly country mixed with a couple pop and r&b songs. Suddenly my favorite song Summertime by Kenny Chesney starts blaring in my ears and I sing along. Everybodys eyes are on me and I get the hint that I am a terrible singer but that doesn't stop me.
Beep, beep, beep, my alarm obnoxiously sounds. I lay there thinking of how much I can’t wait to see everyone when my dad yells at me to get up and rips the covers off my bed. I get up casually and get on the most prized piece of clothing I own, my Western Mass lacrosse uniform with my last name embroidered in blue on my shorts and a vibrant 14 on my chest. I run to the car to stop my parents from honking and I get in anxiously. We quickly pick up Kara and we are on or way. The adventure awaits us.
Swoosh! The ball rushes out of my stick and into the back of the net. Woohhh!! The crowed cheers and we rush back to get into our positions. All we hear is the echo of our cleats into the bleachers and the occasional outburst of one boisterous voice from the stands. We chase the ball down the field, hitting everyone’s pocket with a great impact until I see her wind up and fire the ball into the top right corner of the net. The whistle blows and the game is over. We get a roaring applause from our parents as we jog over to our coaches.
Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! The whistle blows as we score again and again. We are unstoppable. There are a couple close calls but we get through them all as a team and we play like we have been together our whole lives. We celebrate our victories for the final time. We all wish this would last forever. We slowly get into our cars and drive away from the place where we had so many memories and moments we will never forget.
I have been playing lacrosse since third grade and there is no other sport in the world that I would want to play more. Gorgeous is the only word I have to describe it, as I see my harrow lacrosse stick shinning across the room. Without it there would be no possible way for me to play. I bought my blue shaft and white head in 5th grade at a lacrosse jamboree. It was quite expensive but in the end it was worth it. I keep it in a special bag that is made to fight it perfectly. It sits in the closet, waiting for my grab. I keep it safe so no one can steal it and in the same exact spot so I can grab it quickly when I am ready to go. Lacrosse is a very important part of my life.
I put the curved pieces around my ears and press play. BOOM! My song abruptly starts and I start singing along. Sadly it stops and I scroll down the list of songs and pick another favorite to play. I look at the silver front the the aluminum back, so perfect that I can see my reflection in it. I listen for hours and hear mostly country mixed with a couple pop and r&b songs. Suddenly my favorite song Summertime by Kenny Chesney starts blaring in my ears and I sing along. Everybodys eyes are on me and I get the hint that I am a terrible singer but that doesn't stop me.
I hate CD players and Cd's; they are an inconvenience and not portable without making everything difficult. I don’t care about mp3 players or other music devices. There is one thing I love, my 4GB iPod nano.
My two-year-old 4GB iPod mini was pretty nice but it had problems and wouldn’t play a selection of songs without the hassle of deleting the songs that played so I knew it was a good time to invest in a new one. I hand picked my silver ipod nano and it soon became the love of my life. For the next couple of weeks I only listened to my ipod. The cover flow, pictures, and cool layout grabbed my attention. It became more important then anything for a moment.
My lacrosse tournament in Lake George had a great impact on my life and I will never forget it. The experience helped me get better and will help my lacrosse career. Without it I would never have been able to meet all of my friends and strengthen the relationships I already had. All of the girls have made a huge impact on my life.
My iPod is very important and without it I wouldn’t have experienced as much of the music world as I have today. It also helps me get pumped and excited for games. Without it I wouldn’t be able to play as well. The songs have messages in them that are a constant reminder to always try your hardest and push yourself so you can get somewhere in life.
Both playing lacrosse and listening to music remind me that you should try hard and you should enjoy it. If it doesn't appeal to you then you should try something different. Lacrosse and my iPod are both valuable to me. My iPod and lacrosse tournament compare because without my iPod I wouldn't have been able to be as pumped and as ready to play as I was. Also they both let me experience more in life than I had before. Some days I feel like running around and getting active and sometimes I just feel like sitting around and listening to my iPod. Whatever I feel like doing, playing lacrosse and and listening to my iPod are there for me.
6 comments:
In her first paragraph, Katelyn explains how value has changed between people over time. She did so by explaining how people today don't value things that should be valued like they used to. For example, people now a days, she said, only value the expensive things in life.
In my opinion, I think Katelyn did a really good job at describing both of her valuable things very well. Her paragraphs on her lacrosse game were very interesting and exciting. (continued later)
Katelyn is talking about how she values her iPod and her trip with her lacrosse team to Lake George. I think that she values both of the items equally. I think that she also values her lacrosse stick because she talked a lot about her stick too!
The one part that I think was described well was when she was describing her Western Mass. lacrosse uniform. She said,"I get up casually and get on the most prized piece of clothing I own, my Western Mass lacrosse uniform with my last name embroidered in blue on my shorts and a vibrant 14 on my chest." I think this really shows the importance of her uniform to her. I feel like this this is a really important piece to her and that this is really important for her to have. I also think that she described this really well. I like that she used vibrant.
I think Katelyn's strength through the essay was her introduction I think that she did a very good question to start off with.I think that she made a very nice response to start her essay and to show that it would be about her values. I really like that she said that her value matters to her and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. I think that that is really important to know that you should care about your values and not care about what everyone else says.
I would suggest that you should just re read your essay really carefully, or have someone else read it over. Another thing i would do would be to just slow down. Overall this was a AHMAZZINGG essay!! Keep it up!!!
(continued)
Katelyn has great strength in her imagery and desciptions. You can really visualize how she's feeling and also what's going on around her. She also started off her essay (introduction) very well which immediately grabbed my attention.
One thing I think she should work on, is her comparison between her ipod and her lacrosse game. There also were two or three grammatical errors but other than that Katelyn, you wrote a great essay! :)
Wonderful job! Katelyn is trying to say that not only expenxive things in life are only valuable but who you share it with. What is valuable to her is lacrosse and her ipod.
The item she described best was lacrosse. The scenes she described almost seemed real. "We chase the ball down the field, hitting everyone’s pocket with a great impact until I see her wind up and fire the ball into the top right corner of the net." I know I was there and it is like reliving the whole moment over.
The author's overall strengths is her word choice. I think she uses very descriptive words in her essay that pop out. "Gorgeous is the only word I have to describe it, as I see my harrow lacrosse stick shinning across the room." Gorgeous is a very descriptive word instead of a boring good or pretty.
One thing Katelyn could work on is maybe descirbing her ipod a little more but overall you did a fantastic job!
In Katelyn's essay she questions if todays values are the same as todays values. She says that people today people care more about their expensive, uneccesary items. Also, that in the old days, people cherished more what they were lucky to have.
I thought that the description of Kately'ns lacrosse games was described very well. She writes about getting ready for the game, and how she feels during it. My favrotie part was the description of the actual game, and how the team works together, and the sound of the crowd's cheers.
A strong point of Kately'ns essay is how she pays attention to all of the small details in her game, and while listening to her ipod. THe sound of the ball, her ipod and her alarm clock, and the colors of her uniform are some examples. This clearly shows that these are valuable to katelyn.
A suggestion to improve your essay would be to make the comparison between your two items more clear. Also, I would add more present tense description of using your ipod. Overall i realy liked the essay.
What's up with the continuing stories about lacrosse players being involved (directly or as staunch supporters) in the death of Phoebe Prince? How much truth is there those stories?
Who was directly involved?
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